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A BAD CASE OF LARGE NACHOS
By Suzanne Peppers
I have had a horrible case of Laryngitis for the past 8 days. I’m working hard
to get over it. I have only had a little bit of voice for one day really. VERY
frustrating. Then last Tuesday I was SO hungry…and I decided to stop at Carl’s
Jr. fast food for lunch. I got inside and realized I would not be able to order
easily without a voice. SO…I grabbed a napkin and wrote on it:
LARYNGITIS (underlined and bold)
Under that I wrote #18 (combo) & Medium Drink
I walked up to the counter and stood before a young lady that appeared to have
been gifted with fewer brain cells than most. (Just a hunch.) I thought this
might go badly. I handed her the napkin.
She looked past the napkin to my face and said, “To go or for here?”
I mouthed, “To go.”
She said, “What???”
This was not going to work. Again, I lifted the napkin to hand it to her. She
repeated, “Is this to go or for here???” Frustrated, I began to WAVE the napkin
in her face like a flag of surrender. She finally took it from my hand. She
looked at my note and then, a bit indignant, looked right at me and said,
“MA’AM, we don’t HAVE large nachos.”
Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to laugh hysterically without a voice?
Suddenly I realized I was suffering from a bad case of LARGE NACHOS…not
Laryngitis!!!! Oh my. But wait…the best is yet to come. As I’m shaking my
head, she turns to the girl next to her and says, ‘”Do we have large nachos?”
The other girl reads my note and says, “I think she can’t talk. Just ring up an
18 and a drink.” So she does.
But she continues the order process by looking down, away from me. I’m becoming
a bit baffled at her lack of attention…till I realize she has a pen in her
hand and is writing something on the napkin:
CHICKEN BEEF or PORK?
At this point I begin pounding on the counter to get her attention. She finally
looks up at me and says, “WHAT?!”
I frantically point to my ears and mouth these words, “I CAN HEAR!!!!”
To which she begins to reply in writing again!!
I tapped her on the shoulder this time and mouthed again, “REALLY! I CAN HEAR!
TALK TO ME!!!”
She became upset and said, “Well, I didn’t want you to have to say yes or
no”…to which I replied (mouthing again), “I CAN NOD!!!!”
She took my money, handed me an order number and was done with me…all without
speaking or saying thank you or even looking at me. After all, I had a bad case
of large nachos and certainly could not understand anything she might say to me.
Copyright 2000 Suzanne Peppers. Permission is granted to send this to others,
but not for commercial purposes.
Therapy is expensive. Popping that bubble wrap stuff is cheap. You choose.
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